I just don't understand

There are some things I just don't understand, and I'm convinced that I never will.

I took Friday off to hang out with Matt and one of his old Army buddies who stayed with us for a few days. It was really nice to sleep in and everything, but we didn't really get out to do anything until that night. We did finally make it to see Terminator Salvation then to dinner. Because we didn't get out until late, we got home after the kids had gotten there. We walked down to the basement, and this is what we had come home to:

Now, many people have tried to warn me about Matt's ex-wife. I've been told over and over again about how the kids are raised at her house, and I do see a lot of her (and her husband's) influence on them...especially on Gavin. He came home with the first earring a couple of months ago, and after the first weekend here with the earring he didn't wear it again. He got made fun of by most of the people in the house. Earlier this week, Tyliegh came over to work on some school projects with me and the boys came with her. All of a sudden, Gavin had 2 earrings instead of just the one...and both boys had the pink hair *shakes head*. I asked how long it's supposed to last (hoping to hear it was some spray in stuff or a kool-aid job) and found that it'll last 6 weeks. Seriously, HOW is this a good idea in ANY mother's mind for 9 and 11 year old boys?!? Tyliegh has a pink streak, too, but I didn't get a picture. I'll have to work on that tomorrow.

Of course, we discussed the need for it to be fixed. We were discussing whether we should opt for more dye or a buzz, and decided that a buzz would be more appropriate. The boys were reluctant, of course, but we have found that bribery works. With Halo 3 for Gavin and Sims Castaway for the Wii for Owen, we were able to convince them to let me buzz them. I'm not going to lie, it was kinda fun for me. I know it's pretty difficult to mess up a buzzing so it's really no big deal, but it was the first time I've ever done it.

One more before shot:

Then off to work:

In the end, they both still had pink splotches, and we're still deciding how to handle that...but this is at least better than it was.

They're happy on the inside....really...

I think one of the things that bothers me the most is remembering conversations with my mom regarding her "problem kids" that she taught. In describing some of them, I remember her mentioning earrings and erratic hair (mohawks, etc). I remember thinking that I couldn't believe that some parents would do that to their kids at such a young age. Never in my life did I think that my kids would be facing the same things. Those weren't the things that made the kids out to be "problem kids" but the parents who would allow their children to make such unnecessary changes to their appearances at such a young age seemed to be the same parents who would raise their children in ways that would lead them to troubled behavior. These kids do have a tough life, and aren't living under the best of circumstances. They do already identify with this stereotype and their mother doesn't really take responsibility. I just hope that I can be enough of an influence and example to help them out before it's really too late.

2 years down

I can't believe the day almost ended before I realized it. It's one of the most important decisions I have ever made, and has become overtaken so much of my daily life...that I haven't been paying much attention to when it all began.

2 years ago I had my gastric bypass. It's amazing to see how much life has changed...how much *I* have changed. I definitely would not still be in the same place without it. Many people call it "the easy way out". My response to that is that "almost guaranteed" and "easy" are not the same thing. Anyone who has been around me after my stomach randomly decides it doesn't like something knows it's not easy. Matt always asks me if it's worth it. It's a trade. I traded the difficulty that being overweight brought to my life for other inconveniences and pain. For me, it was the best trade I could ever have made. I had already done everything that I could before making that trade. Of course it would have been better had "eating less and exercising more" been the easy answer. Most people who know me know how much I love to be active and how little I really did eat. I actually end up eating a LOT more these days (which isn't a good thing...something I need to work on). I can only eat a small amount at a time...but there are times when even just half an hour after getting "stuffed" I'm actually hungry again. This, of course, wouldn't happen if I ate the way that I "should" but I'm working on it.

So here I am...2 years later...and 180 lbs lighter. We all know I hate showing it...but for the sake of showing how far I've come...here are my before, 1 year ago, and today photos: